Overcoming Workplace Bullying
Breaking the Cycle: Reclaiming Leadership
The clock read 7:00 AM and near the end of a 12 hour shift.
Every morning, without fail, that was when the knot in Mary Jane's stomach tightened. She had an hour left before her supervisor, Greg, arrived. His entrance was always the same—calculated, slow, scanning the room as if searching for the first mistake of the day.
Mary Jane had been proud when she became the night shift lead at a multinational aerospace company's data center. She had worked hard to earn the role. But Greg made sure she never felt like she belonged. No matter how perfect her work, he dismissed it. When things went well, he took credit. When they didn't, she took the blame.
"Let's not forget your mistake last month," he'd sneer in meetings, ensuring everyone remembered.
The worst part wasn't the workload or the schedule. It was the slow erosion of confidence, the constant feeling of not being enough.
One morning, exhausted from second-guessing herself, she caught her reflection
in the server room glass. The doubt in her eyes didn't belong to her. Something had to change.
That night, she started documenting Greg's behavior. Quietly, she spoke with others and realized she wasn't alone. A week later, she walked into HR with her notes and the quiet backing of her team.
For the first time in months, 7:00 AM came—and the knot in her stomach wasn't as tight.
One Year Later: A New Chapter
The Data Center Director called her in. "We'd like to offer you the role of Data Center Manager."
Stunned, she asked, "Why me?"
"You demonstrate leadership, take accountability, and, most of all, care about your team and the end users' needs."
Mary Jane finally saw what Greg had tried to make her doubt—her worth.
Growth Through Discomfort
She thought back to the mornings of self-doubt, the moments she had questioned if she was strong enough. And now, here she was.
With every hardship comes growth. Without Greg's cruelty, she might never have found her strength.
The Ultimate Lesson
On her first day as manager, she had to a conscious decision to make. Greg was now her employee. For a moment, she considered giving him a taste of his own medicine. But true leadership wasn't about revenge—it was about setting the standard. She treated him with the respect he never gave her.
And for the first time, Greg had nothing to say.
Understanding Workplace Bullying
This is my story. At the time, I didn't recognize that Greg fit the classic description of a bully.
The classic definition of a bully is someone who habitually seeks to harm, intimidate, or exert power over others, often targeting individuals they perceive as vulnerable. Bullying can take many forms, including:
Verbal (insults, humiliation, belittling)
Psychological (manipulation, gaslighting, exclusion)
Physical (threats, aggression, intimidation)
Workplace bullying (undermining work, withholding credit, setting people up for failure, public shaming)
Bullying isn't always loud or physical—it often thrives in subtle manipulation, gaslighting, and professional sabotage. At its core, bullying is about control and dominance, using fear to make others feel powerless.
The Bigger Picture: A Culture Shift Toward Aggression
We live in an era where conflict, outrage, and cruelty are more visible and normalized due to social media, competitive workplaces, and political division.
While bullying has always existed, today's world amplifies it, rewards it in some cases, and makes it harder to escape.
Why Bullying Is Toxic and Should Never Be Tolerated
Bullying—whether in schools, workplaces, or online—creates a toxic environment that harms individuals and weakens communities. It fosters fear, destroys morale, and can have long-term psychological, emotional, and even physical consequences.
Bullying should NEVER be tolerated for any reason. Here the reasons why:
It Harms Mental and Emotional Well-Being – Words hurt. Victims often experience anxiety, depression, and self-doubt.
It Lowers Productivity and Performance – A hostile environment stifles creativity and engagement.
It Creates a Culture of Fear and Silence – Normalizing bullying discourages people from speaking up.
It Can Escalate Into Harassment or Violence – Unchecked bullying often worsens over time.
It Signals Poor Leadership – A strong organization prioritizes respect and accountability.
It Has Lasting Effects – Victims may struggle with confidence and career growth long after the bullying stops.
It's Unethical and Unacceptable – No one deserves humiliation or degradation.
Effective Techniques for Stopping Workplace Bullying
Workplace bullying can create a toxic environment that harms employee well-being and productivity. To combat this issue, organizations must implement clear policies, encourage reporting, support victims, and invest in education and training.
These effective techniques for stopping bullying help foster a culture of respect and accountability, ensuring a safe and inclusive workplace for all employees:
· Establish Zero-Tolerance Policies
Clear policies should define bullying, outline consequences, and be strictly enforced.
Leadership must set the standard that bullying is unacceptable.
· Speak Up & Report
Organizations should provide anonymous reporting channels.
Bystanders should be encouraged to intervene and support victims.
Retaliation against those who report bullying must be strictly prohibited.
Support Victims
Offer mental health resources and peer support groups.
Train managers to address bullying effectively rather than ignoring it.
Educate & Train
Implement workshops on emotional intelligence and conflict resolution.
Teach empathy and communication skills to foster a positive work culture.
Handling Workplace Leaders Who Undermine Their Teams
When a leader bypasses their peer to criticize, attack, or undermine a subordinate, it creates a toxic environment. Here's how to handle it:
Assess the Situation Carefully – Document patterns of behavior.
Address the Leader Directly (If Safe) – A professional conversation may set boundaries.
Support the Targeted Employee – Reassure them and direct them to HR if necessary.
Loop in HR or Higher Management (If Necessary) – Provide evidence and request intervention.
Strengthen Professional Boundaries – Reinforce proper reporting structures.
Consider the Bigger Picture – If it's a systemic issue, broader action may be needed.
When to Escalate to HR
If any of these red flags appear, formal complaints and escalation may be the best course of action to protect the employee and uphold professional integrity.Certain behaviors require immediate intervention:
Public humiliation or verbal abuse.
Discriminatory or retaliatory actions.
Repeated overstepping despite prior discussions.
If any of these occur, formal complaints and escalation may be the best course of action.
Here's a professional email template you can use to address the issue with HR or senior leadership. This keeps it formal, factual, and solution-focused, avoiding emotional language or unnecessary conflict.
Sample Email to HR:
Subject: Concern Regarding Leadership Overreach and Employee Well-Being
Dear [HR Representative's Name],
I wanted to bring to your attention a workplace concern affecting team morale and leadership clarity. [Leader's Name] has repeatedly engaged with my team members, bypassing the expected reporting structure. While collaboration is encouraged, these interactions have been more aligned with criticism than constructive guidance, causing confusion and concern.
To ensure a respectful and productive environment, I would appreciate guidance on reinforcing proper communication protocols. I am happy to discuss this further and explore solutions that uphold our organization's values.
Best regards,
[Your Name]
[Your Position]
Final Thoughts
Creating a respectful workplace requires more than just policies—it demands a cultural shift rooted in professionalism, accountability, and kindness. In today's politically charged environment, social and ideological tensions can escalate into conflicts, exclusion, and even bullying. The goal is not just to enforce anti-bullying measures but to cultivate an environment where healthy debate, differing perspectives, and mutual respect thrive.
Leaders, educators, and influencers must set the standard that bullying—whether ideological, personal, or professional—is unacceptable. Addressing undermining behavior, supporting affected individuals, and reinforcing professional boundaries are essential to preventing toxicity. Organizations must also commit to ongoing education, clear policies, and continuous improvement to sustain a culture of inclusivity and psychological safety.
Bullying is toxic, destructive, and unacceptable in any form. It must be actively identified, addressed, and eliminated—whether in schools, workplaces, or online.
It starts with us, as leaders, to create cultures of kindness, accountability, and respect. When we lead by example, we build environments where everyone can thrive.
Disclaimer: I am not an HR or legal professional. If you are facing workplace bullying, seek guidance from your organization's HR department or a qualified legal professional. My insights are based on 40 years of IT leadership and executive coaching, focusing on fostering respectful, high-performing workplace cultures.
Have a great week! I am here for you if you have questions.
Mary